How Do I Really Feel?

October 20, 2020

Why am I feeling so sad? Why do I feel like I have this underlying anger? I experience myself with a lot less patience, especially with my husband, since he is mostly the only one I see. I’m sorry…

I feel this sadness as soon as I sit and I am alone with myself. Do I want to run away? Yes. Is it helpful if I ignore it? NO. Why because when I sit mindfully  I remind myself that these feelings I experience are not me, but experienced within me.  When I notice,  stand tall and strong,  I am empowered with the knowledge that I have the tools to face these feelings without fear. I breathe, I cry to release, I stand, I envision myself walking this path and ask spirit to take me even deeper into the experience to recognize my inner strength. 

Life is not meant to be sunshine and rainbows everyday. It shows me this today. The rain, grey clouds, humidity. But like all experiences there is a blessing to everything. This weather teaches me acceptance as What IS,  and allows me to  discover how I navigate today. A walk in the rain YES! A heavy humid weather YES! A fire in my stove for when I come in YES! A cup of hot tea with chai spices YES! A slowing down for more deep breathing with gratitude YES! And when we cut our day in segments we discover that there are many sections of the day that are quite nice. 

This energy is really weird. Although I am very privileged in these very difficult times, I can still feel the reverberation of the whole. I feel your fear. I feel your pain. I feel your worries. Please know I send you love. And I ask if you can also send me some love, because the more I  feel your love and support the stronger I am to send more out into the universe. Kharma. 

This very difficult time shows us clearly how the human beings from this planet have been suppressing anger, shame, untrustworthiness,  sadness, fear. We have been taught how to hide our true feelings and have not properly learned how to look at them, and find the best alignment to bring compassion, love, peace.  These skills are learned and when needed ask for support to help navigate better these experiences. 

Sit and breathe, you will find your inner strength.